How to Discover Your Core Values and Live Authentically

Uncovering your core values is all about getting to the heart of what makes you tick. It's an inside job—looking at the moments you're most proud of, the things that truly motivate you, and the beliefs you hold most dear. This isn't just an exercise; it's about building a framework for living a life that feels genuinely yours.

Think of this process as the first real step toward making sure your actions line up with what you actually care about.

Your Core Values Are Your Personal Compass

Ever felt like you're just drifting? Making choices that seem smart on the surface but leave you feeling empty? That’s a classic sign of being disconnected from your core values.

Your values are like an internal compass. They're the invisible force guiding your behavior, shaping how you see the world, and ultimately defining what fulfillment looks like for you.

When your daily life is in sync with this compass, things just click. Decisions feel easier, and you feel a sense of purpose. But when you go against your values, you often end up feeling stressed, uninspired, or just plain stuck, even if you can't pinpoint exactly why.

The Power of Knowing What Drives You

Figuring out your values isn't just about feeling good—it's a practical tool for building a more intentional life. This kind of self-knowledge is a huge piece of the puzzle, and it's fundamental to what we call self-awareness.

This journey is about uncovering the principles that are already at play in your life. While your values are deeply personal, some themes are universal. A massive global study based on over 500,000 surveys** found that family is the most influential core value worldwide. It just goes to show how much we all crave connection, no matter our background.

When you're clear on your personal drivers, a few things happen:

• Decision-making gets simpler. You can ask yourself, "Which path aligns best with my values?"
• You become more resilient. Living authentically builds a quiet confidence that helps you handle life's inevitable bumps.
• Life feels more fulfilling. There's a deep satisfaction that comes from aligning what you do with what you believe.

To see what this looks like in practice, consider the difference between living in alignment versus out of alignment.

Signs of Aligned vs. Misaligned Living

As you can see, the contrast is stark. Living out of sync with your values creates a constant, low-grade friction in your life that can be exhausting.

The real benefit of knowing your core values is that they simplify your life. Instead of chasing what you think you should want, you start pursuing what genuinely resonates with your soul.

This guide will give you the tools to find that personal compass. By the time we're done, you'll be able to name the principles that are already guiding you—even if you didn't realize it before.

Sorting Through Different Kinds of Values

As you start digging into what you value, you’ll probably find it gets messy fast. It’s incredibly easy to confuse what you genuinely believe with a cultural trend, a family expectation, or something you just think you should care about. This is a common sticking point, and it’s why so many people end up with a list of principles that sound nice on paper but don't actually resonate with their real-life choices.

The trick is learning to filter out that noise.

To find your true north, you have to separate your core values from all the other ideas cluttering your mind. Leadership experts talk about this a lot—the idea that our real values are intrinsic and reveal who we are at our foundation. You can read more about this on The Profit Recipe's blog. Getting this separation right is crucial. It stops you from accidentally building your life around someone else's script or a fantasy version of yourself.

Aspirational vs. Authentic Values

One of the biggest hurdles is mixing up aspirational values with authentic ones. Aspirational values are the qualities you wish you had, often because they look good to others. Maybe you jot down "Health" because you admire disciplined people, but if we're being honest, you consistently choose an extra hour of sleep over a morning jog. That’s an aspirational value.

Authentic values, on the other hand, are already present in your life, even if you don't live them out perfectly. They’re the principles guiding you when no one’s looking.

Your core values aren't about who you want to be someday. They reflect who you are right now, at your very core.

Other Values That Can Confuse You

A couple of other types of values can muddy the waters, so it's good to know how to spot them.

• Accidental Values: Think of these as beliefs you’ve soaked up from your environment—family, culture, work—without ever consciously choosing them. Maybe you have an accidental value of "Frugality" simply because you grew up in a household where every penny was pinched. You never decided it was important to you; it just became part of your programming.

• Permission-to-Play Values: These are the minimum standards you expect from yourself and others, like "Honesty" or "Respect." While they're absolutely essential for being a decent person, they’re often the price of admission, not the unique principles that truly define and motivate you.

Taking the time to sift through these layers is a game-changer. When you start to question the origin of each potential value, you begin to peel back the external pressures and get a much clearer picture of what actually drives you.

Practical Exercises to Uncover What Matters Most

Thinking about your values is one thing, but actually uncovering them is where the real magic happens. To get to the heart of what you stand for, you need to roll up your sleeves and do some honest self-reflection. These exercises are designed to cut through the noise and get to the principles that have truly guided you, for better or worse.

We're going to walk through three different thought experiments. Think of them as different lenses for looking at your life; each will give you a unique perspective on what really drives you. So grab a notebook or open a fresh document—let’s get started.

Explore Your Peak and Valley Moments

Our most powerful life experiences, both the incredible highs and the challenging lows, are treasure troves of information about our values. When you look back at these key moments, you start to see patterns in the principles you relied on.

First, think about a time you felt on top of the world—truly proud, alive, and fulfilled. What was going on? Who was there with you? The key question is: what about that experience made it so meaningful? Maybe landing that big client wasn't about the recognition (Achievement), but about the incredible sense of teamwork that got you there (Collaboration).

Now, shift gears and think about a difficult time. A moment you felt truly tested or had to make a gut-wrenching decision. What pulled you through? Was it your inner grit (Resilience)? Your unwavering commitment to the truth (Honesty)? Or the support you found in your family (Connection)?

The values that show up during your highest highs and lowest lows are often the real deal. They aren't just aspirational ideas; they're the principles you live by when it truly matters.

This process isn't random. It’s about taking a structured look at your life experiences to find the common threads that lead to your core principles.

As you can see, it's a flow from broad life events to the specific, powerful values at their core.

Take the Unwavering Principles Test

Here’s a quick mental exercise for you. Imagine you were asked to give a speech tomorrow on the three principles you believe are most essential for a good life. What would you talk about? What ideas would you stand on a stage and passionately defend?

This isn't about listing every value that sounds good; it's about forcing you to prioritize what is absolutely non-negotiable for you. Would your speech be about the power of Curiosity? The importance of Kindness? The necessity of Courage?

Jot down the first things that come to mind. Don't censor yourself. That initial, gut-level response is often the most revealing.

Use the Contribution Compass

For this last exercise, let's look outward. The qualities we admire most in other people are often a mirror of the values we hold most dear.

• Who do you admire most in the world? It can be anyone—a mentor, a historical figure, a close friend, a family member.
• What specific qualities do you admire in them? Is it their boundless ingenuity (Creativity)? Their fierce commitment to fairness (Equity)? Or their simple, unwavering kindness (Compassion)?
• What kind of impact do you want to have? When people who know you talk about you, what do you hope they say?

The answers to these questions point directly to the values you want to live out and contribute to the world. If you want to go even deeper, these self-discovery journal prompts are a fantastic way to expand on your thoughts.

By now, you should have a bit of a messy, unfiltered list of words. Perfect. That's exactly where we need to be to start the next step.

From a Long List to Your Core Principles

If you've followed the exercises so far, you’re probably looking at a pretty long, maybe even messy, list of words. Things like "adventure," "honesty," "connection," and "growth" are likely jumbled together. That's a fantastic start.

But let's be honest, a laundry list of abstract words won't actually guide your life. The real work—and the real magic—happens now, as we turn that raw material into your core principles. A list of 20 or 30 potential values is just too much to be meaningful.

We need to get focused. The goal here is to zero in on the 5 to 7 principles that are absolutely essential to who you are. These are your non-negotiables.

Group and Combine Your Ideas

Grab a pen and start looking for patterns on your list. You’ll probably notice right away that some words are just different flavors of the same core idea.

For example, do you see "kindness," "empathy," and "compassion"? They're all pointing toward a similar theme. The trick is to find the one word that truly captures the heart of that theme for you.

• Scan your list for words that feel related or clustered together.
• Try to merge those related ideas under one single, powerful term.
• Ask yourself: Which of these words feels the strongest? Which one best represents this whole group?

This isn't just about cleaning up a list; it's about moving from quantity to quality. You're consciously choosing what resonates most deeply, and that takes a bit of honest self-reflection.

Give Each Value a Personal Definition

Okay, you've narrowed it down. Now for the most important part: defining what these words actually mean to you. A word like "Freedom" can mean a thousand different things to a thousand different people.

What does it mean in your life? Does "Creativity" mean you need to paint every day? Or does it mean finding clever, outside-the-box solutions to problems at work? This is where an abstract concept becomes a practical guide for your choices.

Here’s what that could look like:

• Creativity: "Solving problems in unconventional ways and building something new from nothing."
• Connection: "Building deep, supportive relationships based on mutual trust and vulnerability."

This is the step that makes these values truly yours. It’s what separates a generic list from a personal compass. By taking the time for this, you're essentially personalizing your values and building a brand for your life, turning them into a mission statement you can actually live by.

Look for Clues in Your Life Path

Sometimes, the best way to understand your values is to step back and look at your life from a completely different perspective. One fascinating way to do this is by exploring the patterns of your life through the lens of numerology.

Now, this isn't about predicting the future. Think of it more as an archetypal framework—a mirror that reflects your innate tendencies and deeper motivations.

A really insightful system for this comes from Dan Millman's book, The Life You Were Born to Live. He uses your birth date to calculate a specific "life path number" that points to your core purpose, natural talents, and even your biggest hurdles. The Life Purpose App is also based on this system and makes it super easy to find your number. It's a powerful way to cross-reference the values you’ve already pinpointed.

How Numerology Can Be a Guide

Using this approach can either confirm the values you already suspect are important or shine a light on ones you’ve overlooked.

Let's say you discover your life path number is all about creative expression and emotional sensitivity. This could be the "aha!" moment that confirms why Creativity is non-negotiable for you. It might also explain why you feel such a powerful pull toward authentic Connection with others.

This kind of framework gives you a new language for your inner world. It helps you connect the dots between what you do, how you feel, and the values that are truly driving you.

Seeing these deeper patterns can bring a real sense of clarity. It’s like getting a confirmation that you’re on the right track, making your journey to define your core values feel that much more grounded and true.

How to Actually Live Your Values Every Day

Figuring out your core values is a huge first step, but it’s just that—a first step. The real change, the kind you can feel, happens when you start weaving those values into the fabric of your daily life. This is where a simple list of words transforms into a living, breathing guide for who you are.

Think of your values as a powerful filter for every decision you make, from the tiny choices to the life-altering ones. When you're at a crossroads, you can simply ask yourself, "Which path best aligns with my value of [insert your value, like Courage, Connection, or Growth]?" This question has a way of cutting straight through the confusion, anchoring your actions to what truly matters to you.

Take a Look in the Mirror: The Values Audit

A fantastic way to get started is to conduct a simple 'values audit.' Take an honest look at the main areas of your life—your career, your relationships, how you spend your time and money. Ask yourself: where is there a gap between what I say I value and what I actually do?

• Your Career: Does your job truly honor your need for creativity or autonomy? Or does it feel like a constant compromise? Using a tool like a cultural fit assessment can be a great way to see if a potential workplace actually lines up with what's important to you.

• Your Relationships: Look at your friendships and partnerships. Are they built on the mutual respect and deep connection you cherish?

• Your Time & Money: Does your calendar and bank statement reflect your priorities? If you value "health," how much time and money are you dedicating to it?

This audit isn't about judging yourself. It's about gaining clarity. Recognizing the disconnect is the first and most important step toward closing those gaps and bringing your life back into alignment.

Once you see where the misalignments are, you can start making a real plan to address them. To give this process some structure, consider using your values as the foundation for a personal development plan template. This helps you turn those powerful insights into intentional, meaningful actions you can take every single day.

A Few Common Questions You Might Be Asking

As you start digging into what makes you tick, a few questions are bound to surface. It’s a natural part of the process. Let’s tackle some of the most common ones that come up when people begin identifying their core values.

How Often Should I Check in on My Values?

While your core values are generally stable, they aren't carved in stone. Think of them as a guiding star—mostly fixed, but your relationship to them can shift.

A yearly check-in is a fantastic rhythm to get into. It’s also wise to revisit them whenever you're going through a major life change—a new job, a big move, or a shift in your family life. Life experiences shape us, and sometimes, they reshuffle what’s most important or deepen our understanding of a long-held value. This isn't about reinventing yourself; it's about making sure your internal compass is still pointing true north for the person you are today.

What if Some of My Values Seem to Clash?

First off, welcome to the human experience! It's completely normal to have values that feel like they're in a tug-of-war. For example, you might deeply value both Adventure and Security. One pulls you toward the unknown, while the other craves stability.

Don't see this tension as a problem to be solved. See it as a creative space where real growth happens. This is where you master the art of balance and intentional decision-making.

Instead of feeling forced to choose, look for a way to find harmony. Can you build a secure home base that allows you to take calculated adventures? The most fulfilling paths are often found by learning how to honor these competing needs, not by sacrificing one for the other.

I’ve Got My List of Values. Now What?

Excellent! The real magic begins now. The goal is to move your values from a list on a piece of paper into the fabric of your everyday life. The key to making this stick is to start small.

Pick just one area to focus on, maybe how you spend your first hour of the day or how you approach your weekly team meetings. Then, ask yourself a simple question: "How could I bring more of my value of [Creativity or Kindness] into this specific situation?"

Start using your values as a filter for your choices. Over time, with a little practice, living by these principles will become second nature. They'll become your go-to guide for building a life that feels genuinely authentic and deeply purposeful.

Ready to go even deeper into what drives you? The Life Purpose App, inspired by Dan Millman’s incredible work in his book The Life You Were Born to Live, offers a unique lens on your life's path and the natural tendencies that influence your values. You can explore how your innate purpose aligns with the principles you’ve just uncovered. Download it today and continue your journey.